Donny's Ramblings

The Website of Donny Pauling

Porn Stories: Another Email from a Former Model

10 Comments

Hey there. Haven’t talked to you in a long time. I’m hoping what I’m reading is true. Good for you. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a few years now but haven’t had the guts.

Life’s been kind of hard since I took those pics with you 7-8 years back. I had to drop out of a class because the instructor was giving me his opinion about the photos that he just happened to stumble upon, the love of my life broke up with me cause of the pics, got back together with me but will never marry me, I’ve had people I work with get together behind closed doors and share those pictures with each other (had to quit), people recognize me when I’m out about town, I’ve lost my sense of security.

I’m guessing if what you say is true… you might be willing to consider giving up the rights to my photos? I’m sorry, it takes much courage for me to ask this but life has literally been hell for me since then. I’m a christian and I’m very ashamed of what I did. Though I can never take it back I would love to know that those pics will never be distributed by you again. Let me know what you think and if you would consider discussing this with me.

Thanks

I really wish I hadn’t sold my sites 10 months before surrendering my life to God. As things are, I can do nothing.

10 thoughts on “Porn Stories: Another Email from a Former Model

  1. Oh Donny, what a sad letter! The consequences keep unfolding, don’t they?

    May the God Who brings beauty from the ashes use you to enrich this young woman’s life. I’ll be praying for both of you.

  2. Oh Donny, what a sad letter! The consequences keep unfolding, don’t they?

    May the God Who brings beauty from the ashes use you to enrich this young woman’s life. I’ll be praying for both of you.

  3. Jean,

    I had her listen to the interview I did with Roschel Wynn awhile back. She said she got a lot out of it.

    I also asked the present owner of the website what it would take to get the photos removed. The answer is $1500. We’ll see what happens.

  4. Jean,

    I had her listen to the interview I did with Roschel Wynn awhile back. She said she got a lot out of it.

    I also asked the present owner of the website what it would take to get the photos removed. The answer is $1500. We’ll see what happens.

  5. After listening to the interview with Roschel Wynn (click here to listen to it), here is part of what this model said:

    I very much enjoyed listening to the interview. She spoke to me when she was discussing her lack of self respect, lowering her expectations in her romantic relationships. If a man can’t forgive a woman and move past her terrible mistakes that she regrets every day… he is no desirable mate. That is not love. There is hope.

    It touched me to hear your message re. gift wrapped grace from God. If you forgive yourself completely you can break the downward spiral of love-less relationships. I feel just like she felt. Though I have only been in one relationship over these many years, though I believe my boyfriend truly cares about me, I still can’t allow myself to settle and fear the dating world. Fear that because he will not marry me, no other worthy man will some day. Such a testimony.

    Regarding “Chico Girl’s” comment about sex always being portrayed as something dirty and shameful… I think I might have to agree with her a little. It’s kind of like I was saying in my previous email to you. In comparrison to the filth that is out there, there isn’t much educational sex videos for married couples who are clueless and curious. Not that I necessarily would promote it, I can see her point.

    Thank you for sharing the interview with me. I feel that I was inspired to get down on my knees for a few hours tonight and thank God for grace.

    Some people are so discouraging. I bet you get a lot of it. Don’t lose your drive. I really appreciate you contacting me as well as requesting the removal of my photos from that site. It’s very hard for me to come up with that kind of money but if I can I will let you know right away.

    Take care for now.

  6. After listening to the interview with Roschel Wynn (click here to listen to it), here is part of what this model said:

    I very much enjoyed listening to the interview. She spoke to me when she was discussing her lack of self respect, lowering her expectations in her romantic relationships. If a man can’t forgive a woman and move past her terrible mistakes that she regrets every day… he is no desirable mate. That is not love. There is hope.

    It touched me to hear your message re. gift wrapped grace from God. If you forgive yourself completely you can break the downward spiral of love-less relationships. I feel just like she felt. Though I have only been in one relationship over these many years, though I believe my boyfriend truly cares about me, I still can’t allow myself to settle and fear the dating world. Fear that because he will not marry me, no other worthy man will some day. Such a testimony.

    Regarding “Chico Girl’s” comment about sex always being portrayed as something dirty and shameful… I think I might have to agree with her a little. It’s kind of like I was saying in my previous email to you. In comparrison to the filth that is out there, there isn’t much educational sex videos for married couples who are clueless and curious. Not that I necessarily would promote it, I can see her point.

    Thank you for sharing the interview with me. I feel that I was inspired to get down on my knees for a few hours tonight and thank God for grace.

    Some people are so discouraging. I bet you get a lot of it. Don’t lose your drive. I really appreciate you contacting me as well as requesting the removal of my photos from that site. It’s very hard for me to come up with that kind of money but if I can I will let you know right away.

    Take care for now.

  7. As much as I don’t like the idea of funding the pockets of porn producers, if there were a way to contribute toward a $1500 target for this particular model’s plight, I’d be the first contributor.

  8. As much as I don’t like the idea of funding the pockets of porn producers, if there were a way to contribute toward a $1500 target for this particular model’s plight, I’d be the first contributor.

  9. Sorry, I realized I posted on the wrong page….

    I too posed for you years ago… I was only 18 for a few days when I impulsively made the decision to work with you. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect on my life that it did on “Chico Girls” (above). My pictures were distributed all around town, for free which I was told was impossible…. My life changed drastically. I lost many people who I thought were great friends of mine, put my family and loved ones through more than I would ever have imagined, disrespected my self and my body, became severely depressed and rarely left my house because I was so ashamed… the list goes on. I lost sleep for months and ever where I went I heard whispers… It was the most humiliating experience I have ever been through. It has been almost 6 years since I took my pictures and they still come back to haunt me every now and then. Although I do think I personally made a terrible decision to take these pictures, I do have to say that the experience has made me a stronger person. I used to be somewhat judgmental and now am the complete opposite. I have no negative feelings towards the porn industry and the people in it, nor do I think any less of those involved. I just know it’s not for me. I have now learned to focus on many positive things in my life and have finally been moving forward since this “learning experience”. I am happy for you (Donny) that you have found your love for God. I hope the future brings you much happiness. God Bless.

  10. Sorry, I realized I posted on the wrong page….

    I too posed for you years ago… I was only 18 for a few days when I impulsively made the decision to work with you. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect on my life that it did on “Chico Girls” (above). My pictures were distributed all around town, for free which I was told was impossible…. My life changed drastically. I lost many people who I thought were great friends of mine, put my family and loved ones through more than I would ever have imagined, disrespected my self and my body, became severely depressed and rarely left my house because I was so ashamed… the list goes on. I lost sleep for months and ever where I went I heard whispers… It was the most humiliating experience I have ever been through. It has been almost 6 years since I took my pictures and they still come back to haunt me every now and then. Although I do think I personally made a terrible decision to take these pictures, I do have to say that the experience has made me a stronger person. I used to be somewhat judgmental and now am the complete opposite. I have no negative feelings towards the porn industry and the people in it, nor do I think any less of those involved. I just know it’s not for me. I have now learned to focus on many positive things in my life and have finally been moving forward since this “learning experience”. I am happy for you (Donny) that you have found your love for God. I hope the future brings you much happiness. God Bless.

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